Radical Acceptance: Healing from PMDD, Divorce, Suicidal Ideations and Rediscovering Self-Love

Rita Mercer Author

Chandra Sky shares her journey of healing from PMDD, divorce, suicidal ideations, & embracing radical self-love to rediscover peace and empowerment.

In this heartfelt episode of The Daring Well Podcast, we had the privilege of speaking with Chandra Sky, a woman who has navigated the depths of personal challenges, including PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), a painful divorce, and the dark thoughts that accompany suicidal ideation. Her journey is one of resilience, healing, and self-love, and she shared profound insights about embracing radical acceptance and moving through life’s toughest transitions.

Chandra’s story is a testament to the power of self-compassion, acceptance, and grace when faced with overwhelming challenges. It is a story of rediscovering one’s worth and strength after trauma and the healing process that comes from both radical self-love and community support.

Chandra’s Journey: Struggling with PMDD, Divorce, and Personal Crisis

Chandra’s story begins in her late 30s, in a marriage she thought would last forever. However, as she entered her 40s, she began to experience intense symptoms of PMDD, a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) that affects a small percentage of women, causing severe mood swings, irritability, depression, and, in some cases, suicidal thoughts.

For Chandra, PMDD manifested as extreme emotional distress—rage, deep sensitivity to rejection, and, tragically, suicidal ideation. These emotions overwhelmed her, making it difficult to feel connected to her life, but it wasn’t until she discovered Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that she began to find a way to cope with her feelings and regain control.

The Power of Radical Acceptance in Healing

One of the most transformative tools that Chandra discovered in DBT was radical acceptance. Radical acceptance involves acknowledging life’s painful realities without resistance, judgment, or denial. Instead of fighting against her symptoms, Chandra began to accept the severity of her emotional pain and PMS symptoms, creating space to find peace in the midst of chaos.

“Radical acceptance isn’t about ignoring life’s challenges—it’s about facing them and finding moments of beauty in the midst of the struggle.”

This mindset shift helped Chandra detach from the negative thought loops that were controlling her and allowed her to heal in a way that was gentle and sustainable. Radical acceptance allowed her to let go of the resistance and shame that often accompany mental health struggles, making room for the compassion she needed to begin healing.

Leaving an Abusive Marriage: The First Step in Rediscovering Self-Love

While grappling with PMDD, Chandra was also facing the painful reality of a toxic and abusive marriage. After years of emotional manipulation and the discovery of her partner’s hidden debts, Chandra realized that her marriage was not only unhealthy but unsafe. The final breaking point came when her partner physically assaulted her during their move to Spain, an event that led to Chandra's decision to leave and start anew.

Leaving an abusive relationship was an act of radical self-love—a commitment to putting her own well-being above everything else. She realized that protecting herself, both emotionally and physically, was an essential step in reclaiming her life and her peace.

“Once you’ve been physically assaulted, there is no going back. I knew I had to leave. I had to choose myself.”

Chandra returned to the U.S. with only the clothes on her back and a cherished teddy bear. Though she had no job, no home, and no resources, she had the courage to take the first step toward healing. This pivotal moment was the start of her journey to embrace her worth, set boundaries, and prioritize her mental and emotional health.

Practicing Radical Self-Love: Overcoming Negative Self-Talk

As part of her healing, Chandra realized that she had spent years practicing self-criticism rather than self-love. She had been a perfectionist, a people-pleaser, and had internalized messages of unworthiness from both her past relationships and society at large. Learning to replace these habits with radical self-love became the next crucial step in her journey.

Radical self-love, for Chandra, meant intentionally replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations, practicing mindfulness, and learning to forgive herself for past mistakes. She began to embrace her imperfections and treat herself with the same compassion she would offer to a friend. This practice of self-acceptance was not a quick fix but a gradual process of rewiring her thought patterns and cultivating a nurturing relationship with herself.

“I had to stop speaking ill of myself. I had to accept myself, flaws and all, and give myself the grace to heal.”

Her journey included small but impactful practices—writing down affirmations on sticky notes, incorporating Pilates into her daily routine, and nourishing her body with food that helped her feel energized and alive. Each small step created a sense of empowerment and contributed to her overall healing process.

Creating a Safety Toolkit for Suicidal Ideation

Chandra’s battle with suicidal ideation during her struggles with PMDD was very real. Studies show that up to 30% of women with PMDD experience suicidal thoughts, and Chandra was no exception. However, she learned that it was possible to manage these thoughts and create a safety toolkit to help navigate the intense moments of despair.

Chandra’s safety plan included reaching out to trusted friends and family, people who knew and understood that when she mentioned suicidal thoughts, it wasn’t because she wanted to die—it was because she wanted to live but needed help to get through the overwhelming emotional pain.

“When you talk about suicidal ideation, you’re not saying you want to die—you’re saying, ‘I want to live, but I need help to get through this moment.’”

Her toolkit also included coping strategies such as mindfulness, grounding exercises, and leaning into her support system. Having these tools available gave her the strength to weather the storm and made a significant difference in her ability to manage her darkest moments.

Shifting from Victim Mentality to Empowerment

One of the biggest obstacles Chandra faced was the victim mentality—the belief that the challenges she had faced had defined her. She realized that though she had been a victim of abuse and PMDD, she didn’t have to remain in that victim role forever. Instead, she could reclaim her power and use her experiences to fuel her growth and healing.

Chandra adopted the mindset that though she had been hurt, she could still choose how she responded to her past. She embraced the idea that she had the ability to move beyond her pain and create a new narrative for herself, one grounded in empowerment and self-determination.

“Yes, I’ve been victimized, but I don’t have to remain a victim. I can choose to empower myself and create the life I want to live.”

Key Takeaways: Practical Steps for Healing and Embracing Self-Love

Chandra’s journey is a powerful reminder of the importance of self-love, radical acceptance, and resilience in healing from life’s toughest challenges. For anyone facing adversity, there are a few key strategies that can help you navigate the journey of recovery and rediscover your own self-worth:

• Practice radical acceptance: Acknowledge your pain and struggles without judgment. Instead of resisting your emotions, accept them as they are, and find small moments of beauty in the midst of pain.
• Commit to radical self-love: Stop negative self-talk and replace it with affirmations that reinforce your worth. Practice kindness toward yourself and give yourself the space to heal.
• Create a safety plan: If you are struggling with suicidal ideation, have a safety plan that includes people to reach out to, as well as healthy coping strategies.
• Seek therapy and support: Working with a therapist or counselor can help you process trauma and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
• Take small steps every day: Healing is a journey that happens one step at a time. Focus on small, achievable goals that support your overall well-being.

Final Thoughts: Embracing Your Healing Journey

Chandra’s story teaches us that while the road to healing is never easy, it is always worth it. Through radical acceptance, self-love, and perseverance, we can overcome even the darkest times and rediscover our true strength and beauty.

Chandra’s transformation shows that healing is not linear, but with the right tools, support, and mindset, it’s possible to break free from the pain of the past and create a future filled with self-compassion and joy.

To learn more about Chandra’s journey or to connect with her for coaching or Pilates instruction, visit her website at strollingskye.com.

What part of Chandra’s story resonated with you the most?
We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below and learn how you’re incorporating radical acceptance and self-love into your own healing process!

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Categories: : Healing, PMDD, Self Love, Suicide, Trauma