What Roles Are You Resigning From This Year ? (Part 1)

Rita Mercer Author

Are you ready to release unhealthy roles like the rescuer and the protector? Time to reset. Learn how awareness can support your emotional wellbeing.

There are seasons in life when we feel stuck and realize that something has to change.  Moments, where we realize we’ve been carrying roles that no longer fit and knowing that continuing down this same path is not sustainable.

Some of these roles once protected us. Others helped us feel needed, loved, or safe. And many of them were formed with good intentions—out of empathy, responsibility, or a desire to keep the peace. But over time, these same roles can quietly drain us, distort our relationships, and pull us away from our authentic selves.

In this episode—and now in this space—we’re beginning a gentle but powerful conversation about the roles we are consciously resigning from this year. Not from a place of shame or self-criticism, but from awareness, compassion, and growth.

Because wellness isn’t just about what we add to our lives.
Sometimes, it’s about what we lovingly lay down.

You Can Start Again—Right Now

One of the most liberating truths I want you to hold onto is this: you do not need a perfect starting point to begin again. You don’t need a new year, a clean slate, or a flawless track record. You simply need willingness.

If something in your life is no longer aligned—your habits, your patterns, or the roles you keep stepping into—you are allowed to choose differently. Even if you’ve already slipped back into old patterns today. Even if it’s the middle of the day. Grace allows restarts.

Giving yourself grace doesn’t mean avoiding responsibility; it means refusing to quit on yourself. Growth happens in the recommitment, not the perfection.

Why We Step Into Unhealthy Roles

Many of the roles we’re discussing today are not conscious choices—we absorb them. They often develop early in life or during stressful seasons when we learn that love, safety, or belonging must be earned through performance, sacrifice, or self-abandonment.

These roles can show up everywhere:

• In families
• In friendships
• At work
• In romantic relationships
• In faith or community spaces

When our identity becomes tangled with what we provide for others, we lose clarity about who we are. Healthy relationships require a healthy understanding of self—and awareness is always the first step toward change.

The Roles We’re Resigning From

Below are ten common roles many of us unconsciously play. As you read, I invite you to notice what resonates—not with judgment, but with curiosity and compassion.

1. The Rescuer

The Rescuer feels responsible for saving others from pain, discomfort, or failure. This role often operates with urgency and a belief that things will fall apart unless they intervene. Love becomes confused with obligation, and boundaries feel selfish.

• Over-functioning in relationships
• Difficulty allowing others to struggle
• Feeling anxious when not “needed”

Core belief: “If I don’t step in, everything will fall apart.”

2. The Fixer

The Fixer rushes toward solutions, often bypassing emotions in the process. While well-intentioned, this role can unintentionally dismiss feelings and shut down vulnerability. Presence gets replaced with advice.

• Offering unsolicited solutions
• Discomfort with emotional processing
• Measuring worth through productivity

Core belief: “I’m only valuable if I’m solving their problem.”

3. The Caretaker

The Caretaker prioritizes others’ needs above their own—often to the point of depletion. Receiving help may feel uncomfortable or undeserved, and self-care can trigger guilt.

• Chronic self-neglect
• Difficulty asking for support
• Emotional exhaustion

Core belief: “My needs are not as important.”

4. The Peacekeeper

The Peacekeeper avoids conflict at all costs, even if it means silencing their truth. Harmony becomes more important than authenticity, and boundaries feel threatening to connection.

• People-pleasing behaviors
• Fear of disagreement
• Making oneself smaller to keep peace

Core belief: “Conflict equals loss.”

For many of us, this role began in childhood and followed us into adulthood, workplaces, and partnerships—until we learned that healthy conflict can actually deepen connection.

5. The Cheerleader

The Cheerleader keeps everyone motivated, positive, and hopeful—even while struggling internally. They wear emotional armor and often feel unseen in their own pain.

• Emotional masking
• Avoiding vulnerability
• Pressure to “stay positive”

Core belief: “It’s my job to keep everyone happy.”

This role shows up frequently in families and during holidays, where emotional labor is expected but rarely acknowledged.

6. The Strong One

The Strong One appears steady, dependable, and resilient—but often at the cost of their own well-being. Asking for help feels risky, and rest feels undeserved.

• Suppressing emotions
• Ignoring burnout signals
• Carrying everything alone

Core belief: “I have to be strong. I can’t afford to fall apart.”

Strength without support eventually turns into exhaustion.

7. The Listener / Counselor

This role involves holding space for everyone else while rarely sharing your own story. Over time, emotional invisibility can set in, and identity becomes rooted in being “the safe one.”

• Emotional labor imbalance
• Difficulty expressing personal needs
• Feeling unseen or unheard

Core belief: “Others need me more than I need support.”

8. The Protector

The Protector shields others from consequences, discomfort, or hard truths. While often rooted in love, this role can unintentionally prevent growth—for both parties.

• Over-functioning for others
• Avoiding difficult conversations
• Emotional micromanaging

Core belief: “It’s my job to keep them safe.”

This role shows up frequently in parenting and caregiving dynamics.

9. The People-Pleaser

The People-Pleaser seeks belonging through approval and validation. Boundaries feel dangerous, and saying no triggers fear of rejection.

• Difficulty asserting needs
• Overcommitting
• Chronic guilt

Core belief: “I’ll lose you if I disappoint you.”

10. The Spiritual Fixer

The Spiritual Fixer uses faith to bypass emotional processing, grief, or uncertainty. Prayer becomes a substitute for presence, and spiritual language replaces honest reflection.

• Avoiding emotional discomfort
• Rushing to spiritual answers
• Carrying others’ spiritual responsibility

Core belief: “I should be able to fix this by praying harder.”

Faith and emotional health are not opposites—they are meant to work together.

Reflection: A Loving Pause

Take a moment and ask yourself:

• Have I mistaken doing for love?
• Am I afraid to stop because I might lose the relationship?
• Who holds space for me?

These roles often begin as survival strategies, but survival roles don’t belong in healthy, mutual relationships. Healthy people will never punish you for taking care of yourself—because they know how to honor themselves too.

Next Steps: Choosing Something New

If this reflection stirred something in you, here’s what I invite you to do:

1. Give yourself grace for the roles that once helped you survive.
2. Pause the pattern by noticing when the role shows up.
3. Reframe your thoughts and choose a new way of showing up.

This is the heart of the Mindfully You Wellness Workshop, where we reset habits, release what no longer serves us, reflect with intention, and set aligned goals. Participants also receive a bonus downloadable resource and a preview of an upcoming affirmation card deck designed to help reframe core beliefs.

You can learn more at www.DaringWell.com/workshop.

A Final Word of Encouragement

At some point, these roles helped us survive.
But survival is not the same as thriving.

You are allowed to rest.
You are allowed to receive.
You are allowed to show up whole.

Until next time—
Keep living.
Keep loving.
And keep daring well. 💛

Keywords

self-awareness and personal growth, unhealthy relationship roles, emotional boundaries and wellness, people pleasing recovery, holistic mental wellness, identity and self-worth, emotional healing journey, wellness mindset coaching, resigning from survival roles, Daring Well Podcast

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Categories: : Burnout, Communication, Confidence, Emotional Wellness, Relationships, Self Care