The Art of Aligned Leadership - How to Lead Without Losing Yourself with Carly Pepin

Rita Mercer Author

Learn how to lead with alignment and purpose—avoiding burnout, balancing pride, and growing through authentic leadership.

What does it really mean to lead — not just in business, but in life?

In a powerful episode of The Daring Well Podcast, leadership coach and human behavior specialist Carly Pepin joined host Rita Mercer to explore what it means to lead with alignment, authenticity, and heart. With over 15 years of leadership development experience, Carly has worked internationally helping people reimagine success, avoid burnout, and reconnect with what truly inspires them.

This conversation unfolds as a roadmap for anyone striving to lead without losing themselves — whether in a boardroom, a creative space, or the home. Carly’s journey reveals that leadership isn’t about proving your worth; it’s about aligning with your purpose, balancing pride with humility, and living in a way that feels deeply authentic.

From Skincare to Strategy: The Early Lessons of Entrepreneurship

Carly’s entrepreneurial story began at just 18 years old. While others were sitting in classrooms, she was managing a surf shop, learning the foundations of leadership and business firsthand. Eventually, her entrepreneurial parents encouraged her to turn her creativity into a family business — a skincare and retail line using natural products and essential oils.

That early experience was her crash course in leadership, accountability, and self-discovery. Although the business didn’t last, it sparked something powerful in Carly: a curiosity about what truly inspired her.

“I started asking not ‘What should I do?’ but ‘What do I love?’”

That single shift — from external expectations to internal alignment — would become the foundation of her life and coaching philosophy.

Leading from What You Love

Carly’s next career chapter took her into the fashion industry, where she climbed from executive assistant to marketing manager in a major design company. The experience was intense: long hours, tight deadlines, and constant pressure. Yet, she thrived. Why? Because she loved the challenge.

“You don’t burn out from doing too much — you burn out from doing too much of what you don’t love.”

Her insight cuts deep for today’s high achievers. Leadership isn’t about avoiding stress — it’s about engaging with the right kind of stress. When you’re passionate about your work, challenges feel meaningful instead of exhausting.

Key reflections for aligned leadership:

• Pay attention to the tasks that energize you versus those that drain you.
• When you feel resistance, ask whether it’s a healthy challenge or a misalignment.
• Choose roles and responsibilities that match your values and strengths.
• Remember that growth requires effort, but not at the expense of joy.

Leadership that’s aligned with love — not obligation — becomes sustainable and fulfilling.

Avoiding Burnout Through Self-Knowledge

One of Carly’s most practical lessons is that burnout is rarely caused by overwork. Instead, it’s the result of misalignment — doing work that doesn’t inspire or reflect your true strengths.

In her coaching, Carly often helps leaders track their energy and analyze how their responsibilities align with their values. She shares the story of an executive client who turned down one role and pursued another because she recognized which one genuinely inspired her. The result? Exponential growth — for both herself and her company.

Leadership takeaway:
You don’t owe it to anyone to fit into a role that drains you. You owe it to yourself — and your organization — to operate from your zone of inspiration.

To avoid burnout:

• Reflect regularly on whether your daily activities align with your long-term goals.
• Track your emotional energy across tasks — what lights you up versus what shuts you down.
• Communicate transparently with your team or supervisor about where you thrive.
• Seek company cultures that allow flexibility, creativity, and movement across roles.

The Hidden Trap of Pride in Leadership

At the heart of Carly’s message is a profound distinction between pride and fulfillment.

We often celebrate pride as a positive trait — “Be proud of your work!” — but pride can also create distance, competition, and ego-driven decision-making. Carly explains that pride becomes toxic when it morphs into self-importance, disconnecting us from authenticity.

“Fulfillment and gratitude keep us balanced. Pride puffs us up, and shame pulls us down. True leadership lives in the middle — in balance.”

When leaders operate from pride, they seek external validation — applause, recognition, approval. But when they operate from fulfillment, they’re guided by internal certainty.

The difference between pride and fulfillment:

• Pride says, “I need to prove my worth.”
• Fulfillment says, “I’m grateful for who I am and what I’ve created.”
• Pride seeks validation; fulfillment radiates confidence.
• Pride isolates; fulfillment connects.

Carly reminds us that life has a way of humbling those who forget this balance. “When we get too puffed up,” she says, “the universe — or our families — will always bring us back to center.”

The Balance Between Pride and Shame

If pride lifts us too high, shame drags us too low. Both are forms of imbalance that keep leaders from standing firmly in their truth.

Shame convinces us that we’re not enough, that we must constantly earn our worth through achievement, status, or service. Pride, on the other hand, disguises insecurity behind ego. True leadership exists in the delicate space between the two — the space of authentic confidence.

“When you’re fulfilled, you’re not looking for approval. You’re just certain in who you are.”

That certainty doesn’t come from arrogance; it comes from alignment — knowing that your work, your values, and your purpose are all moving in the same direction.

Practical steps to find your balance:

• Practice daily gratitude to stay grounded in appreciation.
• Celebrate wins without attaching your identity to them.
• Notice when you feel defensive or “puffed up” — that’s pride creeping in.
• Notice when you feel small or unworthy — that’s shame taking over.
• Return to your center through mindfulness, journaling, or coaching support.

The Power of Certainty: “The Seer, the Seeing, and the Seen”

Carly introduces a concept from her personal philosophy: “The seer, the seeing, and the seen become the same.”

This means that when you fully embody certainty, there’s no separation between who you are, how you perceive yourself, and what you present to the world. You lead, speak, and create from an authentic core.

“I’m not nervous because I have certainty. I’m where I belong, doing what I love.”

This sense of alignment radiates powerfully in leadership. It’s the quiet confidence that doesn’t need validation or explanation. When you live and lead in alignment, others feel your integrity — and they trust you more deeply.

Building inner certainty:

• Recognize where you already excel effortlessly.
• Speak and lead from areas of true experience, not imitation.
• Stop comparing yourself to others — find your own version of success.
• Anchor your self-worth in contribution, not competition.

Leadership at Home: The CEO of the Household

One of the most inspiring parts of this conversation is how Carly redefines leadership beyond corporate structures. She challenges the idea that leadership only happens in professional settings.

“Whoever’s running the house — they’re the CEO of the household.”

Whether managing a company or a family, the same leadership principles apply: vision, organization, empathy, and alignment. True leadership is about influence and responsibility — not titles.

Carly celebrates both men and women embracing the roles that genuinely inspire them — whether that’s leading in business or at home. There’s no shame in either. Alignment, not gender or status, determines the authenticity of leadership.

Aligned leadership principles at home:

• Lead with empathy and communication, not control.
• Honor each person’s strengths and contributions.
• Stay flexible — roles may evolve as your family or business grows.
• Model self-awareness and emotional balance for those you lead.

Personal Development: The Lifelong Journey

As the episode closes, Carly leaves listeners with a final truth — one that applies to every leader, regardless of title or experience:

“When you’re green, you’re growing. When you’re ripe, you rot.”

Growth doesn’t end with success; it begins there. The moment a leader believes they’ve “made it,” pride sneaks in and stagnation begins. True leadership is a continuous cycle of learning, reflecting, and evolving.

Carly encourages every leader to view personal development not as a luxury, but as a responsibility — because leadership is about impact. The more you understand and heal yourself, the more authentically you can guide others.

Sustainable growth reminders:

• Stay curious — ask more questions than you answer.
• Seek feedback regularly, not just when things go wrong.
• Invest in your own coaching, mentorship, or therapy.
• Remember that evolving personally strengthens your professional leadership.

Aligned Leadership in Action

Carly’s story is a reminder that aligned leadership is not about status — it’s about self-awareness.
It’s about leading from love instead of fear, purpose instead of pressure, and authenticity instead of image.

The art of aligned leadership requires courage — the courage to ask yourself hard questions:

• Am I living from passion or obligation?
• Is my leadership style rooted in control or connection?
• Do I lead from pride or from gratitude?

Leadership is not a role you perform; it’s a reflection of who you are becoming. When you align your values, your energy, and your work, leadership stops feeling like a burden and starts feeling like a calling.

About Carly Pepin

Carly Pepin is an international business coach, human behavior specialist, and speaker based in Southern California. She helps high-achieving leaders and entrepreneurs build aligned systems, authentic strategies, and sustainable success.

Connect with Carly at WestCoastGrowthAdvisors.com or on LinkedIn, where she shares insights about leadership, mindset, and personal development.

Final Reflection from Rita Mercer

In every conversation on The Daring Well Podcast, we explore what it means to live, love, and lead daringly well. This episode with Carly Pepin reminds us that leadership isn’t about doing more — it’s about becoming more aligned.

When we lead from what we love, balance pride with gratitude, and keep growing even when it’s hard — that’s when we lead without losing ourselves.

Keywords

aligned leadership, personal development, leadership growth, authentic leadership, work life balance, overcoming burnout, pride vs shame, confidence in leadership, mindset coaching, Carly Pepin interview

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Categories: : Leadership, Mindset, Purpose, Professional Growth, Career Development