How to Manage Anxiety & Take Control of Your Thoughts

Rita Mercer Author

Discover practical strategies to manage anxiety, reframe negative thoughts, and regain control of your mental well-being.

Anxiety is a natural response to stress. 

The bad news, it can often feel overwhelming and unmanageable. 

The good news? There are effective strategies to help you regain control of your thoughts and live a calmer, more balanced life.

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is your body’s way of responding to stress, characterized by feelings of worry, fear, or dread. While occasional anxiety is normal, persistent or intense anxiety can interfere with daily life. Recognizing the signs of anxiety is the first step toward taking back control. 

According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) Heart disease is the leading cause of death for women in the United States, killing 310,661 women in 2021, which accounts in death for 1 in every 5 females. While heart disease can be genetic, one preventable way to decrease heart disease is to lower your stress levels.

https://www.cdc.gov/womens-health/features/heart-disease.html

Here are some brief mental and somatic (physical) symptoms of anxiety:

Mental Symptoms

• Racing or intrusive thoughts, and these could occur when you’re awake or when you’re sleeping

• Difficulty concentrating

• Excessive worry or fear

• Irritability or restlessness

• Feeling overwhelmed or a sense of dread or doom

Somatic Symptoms

• Rapid heartbeat or chest tightness

• Shortness of breath

• Sweating or trembling

• Fatigue or muscle tension

• Nausea or upset stomach

• High blood pressure

• Headaches or brain fog

The Science of Thoughts and Anxiety

Our thoughts play a critical role in shaping how we experience anxiety. Negative thought patterns can fuel stress, but understanding this cycle can help empower us to break free.

How Negative Thought Loops Contribute to Anxiety

Negative thought loops often involve catastrophizing or fixating on worst-case scenarios. These loops amplify stress, making it hard to find solutions. 

What is Rumination?

It’s like a broken record that is stuck on repeat. It’s a repetitive and persistent focus on negative thoughts, belief systems, problems, or past events, often without a clear path to a solution. It typically involves overanalyzing situations and replaying them in your mind, over and over, which can trigger the stress response in our mind and body, leading to increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. Unlike true problem-solving, rumination keeps you stuck in a cycle of negativity, fear, worry, and dread preventing you from moving forward.

What Are Cognitive Distortions?

Cognitive distortions are irrational thought patterns that negatively impact how we perceive people, places, situations, as well as ourselves. Cognitive distortions often fuel anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem and low self worth. By identifying these distortions, you can effectively challenge and reframe them to create healthier thought patterns and sustainable change.

Top 10 Most Common Cognitive Distortions

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking

• What it is: Seeing things in black-and-white categories.

• Example: If I don’t do this perfectly, I’m a total failure.

2. Overgeneralization

• What it is: Viewing a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

• Example: I always mess things up. I’ll never succeed.

3. Mental Filtering

• What it is: Focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring the positives.

• Example: I got one negative comment, so the entire project is a disaster.

4. Discounting the Positive

• What it is: Downplaying or dismissing positive experiences as unimportant or unearned.

• Example: Anyone could have done this—it doesn’t mean I’m good at it.

5. Catastrophizing

• What it is: Expecting the worst-case scenario or blowing problems out of proportion.

• Example: If I make a mistake, everyone will think I’m incompetent. I’m going to lose my job,’ or ‘I’m such a failure.

6. Personalization

• What it is: Taking responsibility for events that are not entirely under your control.

• Example: That person is in a bad mood and thinking what did I do wrong?

7. Should Statements

• What it is: Focusing on how things should be rather than accepting how they are, leading to guilt or frustration.

• Example: I should have known better, or They should always understand how I feel.

8. Emotional Reasoning

• What it is: Believing that your feelings reflect reality.

• Example: I feel anxious, so something bad is about to happen.

9. Labeling

• What it is: Assigning harsh labels to yourself or others based on one instance.

• Example: I’m such a failure or They’re just a bad person.

10. Mind Reading

• What it is: Assuming you know what others are thinking without evidence.

• Example: They must think I’m incompetent because they didn’t respond to my email quickly.

Strategies to Manage Anxiety

1. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps anchor your mind in the present moment, reducing anxious spirals. Techniques like deep breathing and journaling can be helpful.

2. Reframe Negative Thoughts

Challenge your anxious thoughts by asking:

• Is this thought based on facts?
• Is this thought/belief helping or hurting me?
• What is the story I'm telling myself?

3. Create a Routine

A consistent routine reduces uncertainty, which can trigger anxiety. Prioritize regular sleep, healthy meals, and physical activity.

The Importance of Self-Compassion

Being kind to yourself during anxious moments and give yourself grace is important. Recognize that anxiety doesn’t define you and that it’s okay to seek help.

When to Seek Professional Help

If anxiety persists or starts to affect your everyday life, seeking professional support from a counselor or a wellness coach can provide you with the tools and insights you need to identify and grow into the best version of yourself.

Taking Control of Your Thoughts

Often we get stuck trying to overanalyze, predict, control the outcome with our anxiety that we cleverly try to disguise as problem-solving. The truth with anxiety is, many times the buildup to a situation is a million times worse than the actual anxiety of just being in the moment. So much so that when you get to the moment, you realize that there’s nothing to really big happening. So then you’ve wasted sleep, time and precious moments by worrying and dreading about something that will almost never happen. 

So my dear, just take a mindful pause.

Take a deep breath. Breathe my dear. Breathe.

Closing Encouragement

Managing anxiety and taking control of your thoughts isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Every small step you take to calm your mind, challenge your thoughts, and care for yourself is a victory.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. If anxiety feels overwhelming, I encourage you to seek support from a therapist or a coach. There is strength in asking for help.

Take a deep breath, be kind to yourself, and remember—you have the power to take control of your thoughts and your life.

Are you looking for more inspiration for wellness tips & coping skills?

Check out The Daring Well Podcast:

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Categories: : Mindset, Stress, Anxiety, Thoughts, Cognitive Distortions